R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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