I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
