Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
