this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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