I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
