I'm really into asian looking animals
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
