Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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