Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
