Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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