I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
