We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
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