whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
