I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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