I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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