I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize