You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
