no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
