I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize