i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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