Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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