i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
