Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
