This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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