I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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