Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
