Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
