yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
