doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
