her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
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