the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
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You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize