Redeem this text for a blowjob
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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