Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
