i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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