im gay
i know
yea but for you.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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