My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
