I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize