I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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