I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Randomize