Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
