She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
