Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize