so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
