I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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