her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
