If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
