We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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