Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
