i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
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