Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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