Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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