We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
It's no shave November. This is our time.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
