I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize