there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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