problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
