How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
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