im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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