Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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